I understand Curling. That high.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
cat food counts as protein by the way
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
