if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
