she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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