you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
