Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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