Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
