I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
In other news, I just burned my penis
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
