it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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