so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
