he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
