apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
