Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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