I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
