Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
