so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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