PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
