1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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