If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
