Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
