Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
