How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
