with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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