I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize