We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
