the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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