Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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