I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
