maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
