Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
