just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
