Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
