Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize