Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
