just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
