We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
