we're blogging at a bar
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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