I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
