We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
