Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
