Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
