I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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