I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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