what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
