she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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