It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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