Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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