Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
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Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
They took my balls.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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