Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
