No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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