would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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