where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
