Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize