Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize