Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
