He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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