my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
