FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Is it penis luge time yet?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
not ubering you a puppy
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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