Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
