it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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