we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
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