He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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