Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
