Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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