i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
ttyl tear gas
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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